Tag: discipline

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Riddle me this young Padawan.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair. These proverbs will give insight to the simple, knowledge and discernment to the young. Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables, the words of the wise and their riddles.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Proverbs was written, likely as a school course for young men (according to Tim Keller). You just can’t get any clearer about the purpose of the book, the collection of the wise and their riddles. To teach people to live disciplined and successful lives.

Who doesn’t WANT discipline and success? Well, Proverbs also helps us with that answer in later chapters. We find it is the either the FOOL or the REBELLIOUS.

The rebellious is obvious. Throwing off constraints, doing what they think is right and ultimately whatever they want to do. They learn through bloody noses, broken bones and lots of trouble with parents and authorities. They feel invincible and indestructible, yet they tend to damage everything around them. What’s the greatest excuse the rebel uses later after burning down everything around them? Why didn’t someone stop me? Uh, because you wouldn’t listen.

The first group, the fool, is trickier. There are purposeful, malicious fools and the thick-headed, bumbling ones who can’t figure out why they have no real friends.

Proverbs is written to help people who want wisdom, to find it. And by warnings, to try to keep people from being the rebel or the fool, knowing they will not listen or heed any advice. The wise person admits they do not know and want to learn, the rebel cares about nothing but themself and the fool is sadly stuck in a loop for life.

Proverbs isn’t a casual read, one-and-done experience. It was written to be explored, held in tension and to experiment with the process. You read a Proverb like 16:9 when you’re young, then mediate on it in your 30’s, 40’s and beyond. “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Like I’ve written before, I read one entire chapter of Proverbs every single day when I was 16 years old and did so until my 20’s. I determined to LIVE my life based on Proverbs 16:9.

I memorized verses, I learned that if I got wisdom it was the only way it would make up for my shyness and social awkwardness. When I started Proverbs I just wanted to be normal, by the time I was 20, I discovered that normal was overrated and boring. Actually, because of Proverbs I just wanted to be who God created me to be! I was differentiating from what the fakes and fads were trying to pull off while trying impress others. I would be stubbornly obedient to God, opposite of resolutely rebellious. I would run towards God not from Him. I would seek to cause good trouble, not backing down from a challenge. I would not ignore bad behaviors or choices of friends when I deeply loved them, even risking their friendship to tell them the truth. Remember, “better the wounds of a friend?” (27:6).

Proverbs sharpened my social skills and gave me an edge of godly perspective when life was challenging. Proverbs even gave me kind of sixth sense when people were lying to me, using excuses to hide from what they knew was true, or even twisting God’s Word to fit their circumstances. God used Proverbs to do just want Solomon wrote, teach me wisdom and discipline.

If you lack wisdom and discipline or your life feels out of control, commit to reading this 31 Day guide, then repeat as often as possible. NO ONE can do this for you! It isn’t a quick fix and can’t give you instant results, but it works! And, unlike all the other self help methods, this one is backed by Jesus himself – the very wisdom of God.

Prayer

Dad,
Where would I be, who would I be without you? Everything good that I have came from you. Every good and decent thought or behavior is there because of you. Your word has been and is a light shining ahead of my feet! As I look back, I am so grateful for your grace and abundant wisdom!

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Value people for the win.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Luke‬ ‭17:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus, in “red letter words” talks openly about sin. He does not do so as often as you might think. But here Luke records Jesus talking about it with some warnings. Seventeen opens with, “There will always be temptations to sin….” Then after reminding us that being a temptER is worse, Jesus lays out the warning, “watch yourselves!” What a thought. We spend a lot more time and energy watching OTHERS do their sin, than we do our own sin. It makes laugh when Jesus says, “IF” another sins. I think it’s more like “when,” right Jesus? 😬

Jesus uses this word that we have all kinds of stereotypes built around – REBUKE. Don’t we rebuke demons and our dogs? Sounds pretty harsh, right? It’s the word itself that fascinates me.

The Greek construction of this word is NOT match the imagery. The word is epitimaó: to honor, to mete out due measure, hence to censure. Properly, assign value as is fitting the situation, building on (Gk epi) the situation to correct (re-direct).

Its fundamental sense is “warning to prevent something from going wrong.” Think about this. The word comes from two words, epi: on, upon and timaó: to fix the value, estimate. We’d recognize the word timaó because it comes from the word “time.” So this often seen as judgmental word is really a deep sense of valuing someone to help point out serious consequences completely in the framework of timing! In my granddaughter’s preschool class, her teacher has a “red choice” vs “green choice” system to help the children understand choices they already made. That they were helpful or not helpful, kind or unkind. But what if they had a “yellow choice” indicator just BEFORE the behavior happened? The timing of the yellow choice warning or “rebuke” would be seen as a helpful, valuable, even a loving action.

It’s not an example of sin, but it would be much like Robin warning me, while driving, when she’s sees a pedestrian coming into the crosswalk as I’m about to make a turn. Her warning, her “rebuke” is a timely and valued moment that prevents me from hitting, thus hurting another.

Notice the order in which Jesus gives us this wisdom of God. If another believer sins (clearly just for Christ followers) – it’s already happened. The timely and valued warning is helpful for breaking a pattern that will absolutely lead to relationship breeches between us and God and us with one another! I think that’s why Jesus chases that truth with this. “Even if it happens seven times a day.” Well, there’s a fine “terrible two’s” scenario! I have to be vigilant and consistent MORE THAN ONCE. Yep. Oh, I hear you. If you were to say, “but what if they (we) don’t WANT those timely and valued warnings when they (we) are in process or planning of SIN! And, you’d be right. The warning, the rebuke, even when spoken in grace, is often taken as controlling or judging or even meddling in our private affairs.

Ah, that’s why we really don’t like the word! There’s a real possibility of someone flashing the yellow choice option, but they (we) REALLY want to ignore it. BTW, when Jesus says, “if” there is repentance, think of it in terms of not just being sorry… sorry would not have helped me or the person I hit in the crosswalk. The best way to look at repentance is exactly what the word means – metanoeó, “change one’s mind.” Thus, changing one’s behavior.

Prayer

Dad,
It seems like this conversation of unity, cooperation, mutual benefit and trust are much more difficult in a divided culture and specifically a community of believers. How can we trust each other to handle our lives, decisions and behaviors with this timely, valued warning? Most of the body of Christ perceives that “judging” anyone or anything is wrong and should be avoided. This makes rebuking almost impossible without massive drama and blowback. Have we, have I, isolated ourselves into a dark corner of self where we are not just alone in our sin, but also alone in seeing the blind spots we all have?This is really a sad situation we’ve gotten into. Will you help us (me) to remember that you know what you’re talking about and trust you in your eternal wisdom? Even when this whole topic feels like we are walking on eggshells, and fearing co-dependent reactions?

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Someone’s gotta do it.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.” Proverbs‬ ‭19:18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Discipline your kid!

Discipline- yasar: to discipline, chasten, admonish. While there is a thread – tiqvah: cord of waiting – qavah: wait.

It is translated as “hope.” Interesting that the Aramaic word for discipline is to “bind.” The Hebrew language is a language of imagery and built around words that illicit emotion and deep stories of the past. These words are like that. In dealing with sons, we would say children because it’s applicable, there is a stern parental instruction given.

Bind your kid now in the hope, the “cord of waiting,” that it will save their life! Sure discipline sounds better, even harsh chastening sounds better than tying your kid up until they learn to behave.

Here’s the point, someone’s gotta do it!

Most children will not discipline themselves! I say most because I have come across the rare and extraordinary child that has a social perception and sense of self awareness at a very young age to behave pretty much on their own. I WAS NOT that child.

Either a good, loving parent teaches, models, and corrects bad behavior or attitudes or someone later will do it for them. That will likely be a future police or parole officer.

Some parents have it very hard when faced with a little bully or bad seed, but it’s still their job to help their own child, protecting them from their own poor decisions in the future. The discipline, the hard conversations, and natural consequences done at age appropriate moments may slow or stop their self-driven demise.

All my parents, my adopted mom and three different dads tried their best to teach, even discipline me. But too often they had their own demons and lacked self discipline for themselves. All five of my parents had childhood struggles or like the prodigal son, ran off to live their own version of “freedom.” So, I wasn’t exactly given the gift of discipline and I would have ruined my own life if it weren’t for Jesus rescuing me. For our own children, I credit the well balanced serving of discipline to Robin. Her parents gave her the best kind of loving discipline- solid boundaries until she was old enough to make decisions for herself. FYI, keeping Robin from bowling alleys and movies did not ruin her life!

Prayer

Dad,
It was tough learning some kind of discipline at fifteen instead of five. And since I hated team sports, I didn’t even get the chance to be coached. So I took longer to catch on and my life shows the discipline-deficiencies even today. Yet, I am thankful you got a hold of me when you did. It looked like it would have gone bad much faster as I went through my angsty teens. Thank you for that. And thank you for “binding” me with a cord of waiting while you worked on me!

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Wisdom doesn’t celebrate April fools.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“You simple people, use good judgment. You foolish people, show some understanding.” Proverbs‬ ‭8:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Ok, today’s proverb is too perfect for the calendar! It’s April Fool’s Day. A day that used to be filled with jokes, puns, tricks and stunts you’d play on your teacher, co-worker, boss, family or friend. It should just be called “prank” day but apparently on tiktok or IG that’s everyday.

Proverbs is filled with this word fool. And, basically there are only four different Hebrew words used. In this one verse, two of them are used – kesil & pthiy. These two would be the most used words for fool and they are both the more innocent words, describing folks who are slow or simple.

Don’t misread these as critical for those born with special needs or some kind of diminished mental capacity or delays in learning. That is NOT what proverbs is about.

These fools are fools by behavior, choice, regular consistent lifestyle decisions that leaves them vulnerable by lack of learning. The fact that wisdom is BEGGING them to see, hear and make changes, reinforces the idea that they are this way because of sin, or selfish stubbornness.

The wisdom writers have wisdom personified, calling out to the “kesil” stupid, dullard, fool. And says to use good judgment. This is the word, prudence. It is interesting because this specific Hebrew word is a normally a negative word, but here it is to be used and applied POSITIVELY for the one who ALWAYS seems to be taken advantage of. There are to learn and apply some shrewdness or craftiness. Think about this. Sometimes the simple are always being mistreated unfairly because they’ve never learned the art of reading other people’s motives. They become victims of a continuous cycle because they’ve got this emotional target on their back that says “kick me.” Wisdom says, take off the sign and start paying attention to being ripped off! Quit “believing in others” to the point of sacrificing your own self worth and self respect. Get some shrewdness, LEARN to find your voice and stand up for yourself.

To the “pthiy” fool. The simple, perhaps open-minded, (when used negatively the root word, pathah, means open – like an airhead). Wisdom has some different advice, she says show some understanding – the word “bin”: to discern. For these folks who are silly (i.e. seducible) and may love playing the clown or enjoying the momentary attention that this “act” may bring. Wisdom calls out their nonsense and gives stern warning that this lifestyle is filled with heartache and they will continue to be the beneficiary of bad “luck”. It’s not bad luck, it’s just sad to see them live down to the worst of what others see and never apply themselves to change. This again is someone who constantly leans on an apparent ease of apathy, of no concerns for anything serious or consequences of inaction. Their perception of themselves and the world around them is a perpetual lie! Wisdom’s advice, start filling your head with something of substance, like knowledge or passion, or God’s word. Quit living life with a helium-filled brain!

If these two words describe you in anyway – you CAN CHANGE. Do not believe the lie that life will never get any better or that you can never be anything different. If you know a “fool,” love them, but be straight with them. Call them up to better. See their potential and constantly remind them of a future that is good. Offer help and feedback to get them unstuck and moving forward.

Have fun with the day of pranks, but please don’t play the fool.

PRAYER:

Dad,
I am so thankful for your wisdom. You are an amazing father to the fatherless and you do such a good job training us in wisdom, discernment and discipline.