Tag: Gossip

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Evil Consensus.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

When Peter writes to the Church about ridding themselves of evil, he chose five words that every sensible person believes is WRONG. Peter says, “put these away!”

  • “dolos” – trickery, crafty deceit. The word comes from the word decoy.
  • “kakia” – malice, nasty naughtiness, wickedness, no shame in breaking the law.
  • “hypokrisis” – acting under a feigned part, a stage actor, a fake, a pretender.
  • “phthonos” – envy, spiteful jealousy.
  • “katalalia” – slander, backbiting, evil speaking.

Here’s what struck me. No one likes to be deceived. No one likes hypocrites. Everyone dislikes jealousy and nasty gossipers. And, when it comes to malice or a purposeful disregard for the law, it’s only those who are attracted to the bad boy/girl type who “like” it.

Point: You don’t have to be a believer, unbeliever, church or non-church goer, religious or non-religious to understand what Peter is writing about – they all agree! These are things we ALL hate and all struggle with. We have a general consensus and agreement that bad is bad.

We might not all have these behaviors frequently or all of them at once. But we do recognize them as wrong. Whether folks admit it or not, we have an internal, God-given conscience that tells us when we’re wrong. That means we have to actively override that conscience, struggling to silence it to continue to deceive, purposely pursue malice, hypocrisy, envy and be a backstabbing gossip!

Even still, the Apostle Paul tells Timothy that people can sear their own conscience in 1 Timothy 4:1-2, and get “life-advice” from demons! “Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons. These people are hypocrites and liars, and their consciences are dead.” Our conscience is God-given and within each of us, Romans 2:15. “God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.” If the conscience is “seared”—literally “cauterized”—then it has been rendered insensitive and become ineffective! It is wild that folks can “fry” their conscience but continue to convince themselves and others that everything is alright.

Is it more egregious to see a follower of Jesus continue to practice these behaviors with no remorse? Yes, I believe it is! Followers of Jesus should be the first ones to recognize these common human behaviors/sins and the first ones to say “I’m sorry.” We should be humble enough to not deflect our bad choices, defensively blaming others or making it sound like it’s not that big of a deal. The consequences of deception, intentional nastiness, hypocrisy, jealousy and spreading gossip is primarily pain for others. It’s also a poor representation of Jesus to the world that already believes that “Christians” look down on everyone else.

Peter’s admonition (truthful encouragement) is to get rid of these behaviors, but when we do fail and hurt someone, we should be honest about it and be quick to apologize. Even though there is an evil consensus about what is clearly bad, we can be examples of owning our own sin and show contrition (remorse) for it.

Prayer

Dad,
I have to admit, even though these behaviors are awful, I have caught myself acting them out. Not every one of them is a constant battle, but checking my behaviors and the motives behind them is a regular part of struggling. Especially when I’ve been hurt, want to get even or just feeling spiteful or awry. It is when I see a poor reflection of myself in Your Word, that I feel the pinch of Your Spirit to own it, repent of it and apologize when necessary. Honestly, the pain of asking someone’s forgiveness should be enough to help me to not act on these nasty behaviors. I am so thankful for the Holy Sprit nudges, and your mercy.

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Assuming God Intent.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Soon the news reached the apostles and other believers in Judea that the Gentiles had received the word of God. But when Peter arrived back in Jerusalem, the Jewish believers criticized him. “You entered the home of Gentiles and even ate with them!” they said.” ‭‭Acts‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Awhile back Robin and I had dinner with another couple and one of them used to work for Apple retail. She said that Apple’s training emphasized that when in doubt, one should assume positive intent when seeing another employee or even a customer behaving suspiciously. The whole idea is to trust that people are doing the RIGHT thing even though we don’t fully understand what we see at the time. What a brilliant concept!

There are so many examples in the Bible where God was totally involved, and had specifically told people what they needed to do. Jesus himself was criticized for eating with sinners! Like people’s sin might accidentally rub off on him and make him unholy? Mary, was pregnant with God’s only son and it was the only way God could save humanity – but people suspected that she was unfaithful to Joseph!

Here in Peter’s story, he is questioned for eating with Gentiles, not knowing that God had orchestrated the whole thing. When will we get it? Oftentimes God has directed people to do something that may appear suspicious, but it is completely within His plan. We should practice assuming God intent.

We have so much social media criticism flying around, quoting and misquoting preachers or “catching” Christian celebs in what we think are compromising positions. Have we considered that they may be doing exactly what God told them to do? Word got back to Jerusalem and the Jewish believers criticized Peter! So yeah, Peter had a great God story to tell, but how far would the gossip have gone? Luke made sure the truth, the God intent, was written down for all to see.

I think it’s helpful to assume positive intent when working with people. But, I think it is far more important to assume God intent in the community of faith. Next time I see a suspicious behavior in a believer, I’m going to hold my criticism, assuming God intent, until I get a chance to hear their big God story!

Prayer

Dad,
You are doing BIG stuff in our dark and dangerous world. You are always at work, bringing light and justice to the shadiest situations that we will never even know about. And, you are involving us in your grand story – the redemption of humanity! I am positive that you know what you’re doing. And, I trust that you have people doing good work in areas and with individuals that I will never see. Help me in my negative and critical thinking, assuming the worst in other believers. I would rather think well of them and that you have a plan and a reason behind the scenes. Help me believe in you working through others!

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The two sides of every story.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Only simpletons believe everything they’re told! The prudent carefully consider their steps.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14‬:‭15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Ah the tale of the pethi and the prudent. “Pethiy” is one of the Hebrew words for the simple, the fool. The second most often used word for “fool.” It is used 15 times in Proverbs and represents the silly, seducible or simple.

I feel I play this role far too often when it comes to hearing people share their story … er, their truth. I believe people. I believe in people. I want to believe everything they tell me, because I want to like them and get to know them. Maybe that makes me gullible? Maybe even susceptible to gossip with its dainty morsels of truth wrapped in unsavory untruths.

The colloquial sayings are helpful for me. Like, “there are two sides to every coin,” or “two sides to every story.” Being very relational, I easily get caught up in one person’s version of a truth, a position or story. And, admittedly, I believe it wholeheartedly. Until, I hear the other person’s version and realize the truth is blurry and they definitively do not match! Yes, of course, this mostly happens in disagreements or conflicts, between couples or friends. You know what’s hard? You realize there’s truth in BOTH stories, hidden in there somewhere in the middle.

Prudence, defined as shrewd, crafty sensibility, says that I need both sides of a story, or an opinion of a situation to find out what really happened. I’m sure the wisdom writers intent and application of this proverb are not at all about refereeing or conflict management, but it is helpful for me to sort out being wise or playing the fool.

The proverb is likely instructing those who blunder forward in naive believability without the cautious steps of decision-making. But remember, the general rules of fools and “seduction” still apply. Definitely remember the point of this proverb – beware of slick sales techniques and skipping steps to lazily take the shortcut to any idea or project.

But, in relationship management, I must remember the side benefit of this wisdom principle as well, get two sides of a story before making a judgment or decision. And, I also discovered this caveat in relational squabbles, “the first one to spin the story has the advantage, but it’s not always the whole truth!”

Prayer

Dad,
This whole discussion on foolishness and wisdom has me reflecting on Psalm 139:14, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” I love that you have made us incalculably and extraordinarily distinct from each other and anything else in your creation. However, I also have to constantly admit, we are quite a mysterious piece of work. I marvel at the levels of complexity that our sin has introduced into such a masterpiece. The Psalmist declare how marvelous we are and “how well he knows it.” I don’t think we know ourselves well at all! We need your wisdom. We need your constant guidance and exquisite mercy on this journey through life. I love the idea that your thoughts and ways are far above our own! But I am continuously baffled by the fact that we can’t quite figure our own thoughts and ways! To know you and to be known by you is our only hope! God, help us 🥴.

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Waggling tongues and wanton hearts.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood. Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭26‬:‭20‬-‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The wisdom writers have a hot sheet of character flaws in the human heart. And, in these hotbeds of emotions and relational problems, there are warnings and dire consequences. However, we believe we are immune to the poisonous effects because of one of the best excuses is, “well that’s not me!”

Here, we have a classic discussion about the words we spread about like the latest tasty receipt on Instagram. The writer compares gossipy girl/guy to a fire, a fight and a fantasy.

Fire needs three elements to exist – heat, fuel and oxygen. Conflict or revenge can be the heat, gossip is the fuel, and speaking words are the oxygen (we blow air when we talk). In a quarrel everyone knows it takes two to tango. And, a homemade treat is even better when shared, so gossip is given and gobbled down before someone questions the ingredients.

At our core, we are ALL a little soul-pyros, like fire-starters. I’ll be the first to admit that I live and love the world of good and not-so-good tidbits of information. Someone’s pregnant? I just can’t wait to tell everyone. Someone’s gone back into rehab – oh, so sad, I’ll just share that with someone in the guise of prayer. I don’t like to think that I CAUSED fires, fights and fantastic rumors, but I’m sure I’ve done it.

Proverbs calls out my proclivities and holds me accountable to repent and stops me from being a human pyro! I have no excuse. And, I can’t hide under the phrases like, “well it’s the truth,” or “I’m just trying to help,” or worse, “don’t they need prayer?” So it’s out, we’re all susceptible to these destructive sins. I just don’t want to be the chief fire-pyro.

Prayer

Dad,
Right between the eyes! Your Word is a dead shot. I would think I could avoid all these discoveries of my shadowed soul by just avoiding your word, your ways. I could just be happily oblivious to my sin and the damage it causes in all the lives and lives around me. You word, your light shining in the darkness reveals my weaknesses, my propensities, ugh… my selfishness. This is why I am thankful for your word and how your grace comes rushing in after seeing my sins reflected back and my confession coming out, purging my heart. Now, I just need your help to stop gossiping, drop on my knees and roll around in the truth to stop hurting myself and others.

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Brain Ruts.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.” Proverbs‬ ‭21:23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This one’s for me in the most unusual way. I am an over-sharer. I talk to much on a principle of connection and understanding those around me. Somewhere in there, I am trying to get and keep people connected. And, more than that, get people to know the real person underneath the shallow conversations we so often have. Sounds noble right? That’s the upside! The downside is I share the good and the shady. It’s the shady that drifts into gossip. I love input and interaction. I love a good dialog about deep things, hard questions and unsolvable mysteries. I promise it wears thin on my wife and adult children. I’m concerned that I’m developing the ruts so common in folks brains as they… (cough, cough) get older.

A rut is a well worn track that runs in the brain, an automatic neural response with words and ideas easily triggered by something we see or hear. I hear a friend talk about EV’s (electric vehicles) vs Oil/gas and my brain just starts lightning up, firing the well worn neutral path that looks like a bright-lit runway on a dark, moonless night. These ruts have deep memories and feel like a instant-ready playlist that auto starts and won’t stop until the last song is played. Plus, the conversational rut is happy to be running on auto, because our brains are the laziest organ in the human body.

As we age our brains are more than happy to set aside a few nodes and electrical bandwidth to keep us busy so it doesn’t overextend energy to learn NEW things. What does this have to do with this verse?

There is something incredibly addictive to enjoy connecting our rut-thoughts to our mouth! It’s like a powerful feedback loop. Our thoughts drift into these ruts, our mouth gladly picks up the ball and starts running a familiar script and we hear ourselves reinforcing those looped thoughts. Why do you think we tend to tell the same jokes as we age? Why do we “always” follow up with the same predictable responses? Ruts, Ruts, Ruts, that’s why.

Gossip and our wagging tongues are the worse use and example of these looped neural paths! I end up training my brain to hear juicy morsels of information about someone else and I store it in that precious “short-term” memory slot for quick access. Then, when I’m around friends, instead of listening to learn from or to encourage one another, my brain is listening for trigger words to allow me to jump to the remarkable recall of my playlist and start the track.

The wisdom of this proverb tells us to shut our mouths, effectively to stop the cycle and disrupt the process of starting the playlist. Having no verbal loop to make my rutted brain happy, it will finally release that rut, deleting the playlist. No, it’s not easy and no it does not happen quickly. But it does work. It is humorous that Proverbs says, “watch your tongue,” which is impossible while in a conversation, but we can bridle it – stopping it from prattling on and on.

Prayer

Dad,
Our mouths in direct connection to our thoughts is a wild combination! I know Proverbs says elsewhere that life and death is in the power of the tongue. And James describes it as the rudder of our life. It is so very powerful to build up but also tear down. Help me to keep my mouth healthy or help me keep my mouth shut.

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Greasy gossip and sleazy theology.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were offering sacrifices at the Temple. “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than all the other people from Galilee?” Jesus asked. “Is that why they suffered? Not at all! And you will perish, too, unless you repent of your sins and turn to God. And what about the eighteen people who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem? No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too.” Luke‬ ‭13:1-5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus is told that Pilate had some Galileans murdered and mixed their blood with the blood of sacrifices to the Roman gods. Jesus’ response is pretty blunt. Word spread quickly about these rebellious Galileans who had been feuding with Pilate for years. Galileans taught that Jews should not pay tribute (taxes) to the Romans because it was a form of idolatry, giving money to Cesar.

However, the real gossip kicked in when people started talking about God’s judgment and the fact that the Galileans may have deserved death because of their wickedness. Jesus clarifies what God thinks about punishment of sinners.

Don’t confuse suffering with judgment!

Galileans are murdered, a tower falls on 18 people and you think God did that, or God “allowed it”? Read Jesus lips, “quit making stuff up and misrepresenting God!!!” Don’t you just hate it when people speak for God and they’re wrong about it?

Jesus has an edge in his tone when he talks about folks blabbing on about their theories and leading others astray when it comes to knowing God. So, maybe that’s why he says this stern rebuke: When you see these things happen (horrible suffering) maybe you should check yourself instead of falsely gossiping about God’s intent.

This is an often ignored truth – EVERYONE dies! But for those who will not turn (metanoeó: to change one’s mind or purpose – to “think different.”) there is a very real, very permanent ending for them. These stubbornly, self focused, my-truth thinkers have a very sad reality waiting. Jesus says, these “unchanged minded” will face a kind of obliteration (apollumi: to destroy, destroy utterly). God is always concerned about my heart, my attitude, my eternal destination. It does little good to try to back-seat drive someone else’s life and be all smug about it.

Prayer

Dad,
I never ever want to misrepresent you or purposely shoot off my mouth, presupposing I know how to run the world better or that I can clearly go around judging people’s final destination of judgment. I can barely figure out my own heart let alone peer, like a spiritual stalker, into someone else’s heart and call out their motives. What a sick, twisted thing to see a person or family go through a horrible tragedy and make some snide remark about how they may have deserved it! What part of that sounds godly? Yuk! Help me to stay clear of that and especially help me not misrepresent you to an unbelieving friend.

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Hello, my name is Glenn and I’m a blabaholic.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.” Proverbs‬ ‭10:19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This is one of those Proverbs that keep coming back to smack me in the face. Have you ever posted or put up sticky notes or cards with sayings and Bible verses you’d like to memorize and live by? This is one I should make into a T-Shirt.

I talk too much. I overshare, tell too-long stories and have determined it’s way too much like gossip. I shouldn’t even be writing this because it’s probably the last time you’ll tell me anything! I do have some safety features built into my blabbering ways. Sometimes I remember to ask friends, “is this confidential or is it something I am free to share?” Honestly, if it’s confidential I don’t share it with anyone, not even my wife. That word, confidential, seems to be the key to keeping my mouth shut! And those confidential things shared with me go into the VAULT.

I find it interesting, no HAUNTING, that the wisdom writers associate “too much” talking with sin. It’s like I hear people talk about drinking alcohol. A little, they say, is like “social” drinking. Like Paul telling Timothy to take “a little” wine for his stomach. But TOO MUCH and boom, you’re drunk. I don’t drink, but too often I blab. I’d love to say “oh, I’m just a social blabber,” or, “a little blab for levity.” Truth is I’m kind of a blabaholic.

There, confession is good for the soul or confess to one another so I can be healed. I see the remedy right there in the saying – just keep my mouth SHUT. I’d get that tattooed, but I hate needles. Plus, I’d have to explain it to anyone who asks, then I’d be shunned for sure!

Anyways, Proverbs is right and I need this constant reminder. If we talk please us the phrase, “this is confidential,” that should keep us both safe. Thank you for reading.

PRAYER:

Dad,
Wow. Many times I look into your Word, the Bible and it is experienced much like looking into a mirror. Except, I don’t like the reflection I see looking back at me! Forgive me of my sin. Help me in my sin. Help me change and grow to not increase in foolishness, but instead in wisdom. Thank you for your grace and power to overcome my big mouth.