Tag: Reconciliation

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Paul’s beef with Barnabas.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care. ‭‭Acts ‭15‬:‭36‬-‭40‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Are you shocked to find out that leaders in the Church, as well as just normal followers of Jesus also have serious disagreements between them? Yeah, no one is immune from being human! Not even among the most influential duo team in the New Testament Church.

What was Paul’s beef with Barnabas? It was all about John Mark. Who was John Mark and what did he do to get the Apostle Paul so riled up? We already know that Paul was mission driven. And, we know that Barnabas was a mercy-driven encourager. That’s exactly why the team worked so well. Luke tells us that Paul was still not happy with John Mark, over what he considered to be an act of desertion! However, each leader felt so strongly about this disagreement that Paul went one way and Barnabas went another. Who was right, – neither, both? One commentator summarized it well. “John Mark was a helper on Paul and Barnabas’ first missionary journey (Acts 13:5). However, he did not stay through the whole trip. John Mark deserted Paul and Barnabas in Pamphylia and left the work (Acts 15:38). The Bible does not say why Mark deserted, but his departure came right after a mostly fruitless time in Cyprus (Acts 13:4–12). Only one conversion is recorded in Cyprus, but there had been strong demonic opposition. It’s likely that the young John Mark was discouraged at the hardness of the way and decided to return to the comforts of home.”

Now, before we jump on Paul’s side seeing John Mark as a weak, momma’s boy, as some have said; how about also looking at the facts: their were fruitless efforts and demonic opposition! Throw a young man into a mission’s trip like that and we might say, “maybe John Mark just wasn’t ready for such intensity!” Does a lack of preparation, and taking a step back disqualify one for all future mission’s trips? Our two children did a mission’s trip to Fiji and they came back with frightening, almost traumatizing stories of what they experienced. But they were warned ahead of time by seasoned missionaries. They did not happen to go back, but their hearts were forever marked by that experience.

Desertion or not, when Barnabas suggested that they give John Mark another chance, Paul was vehemently against it! And, in this case, Barnabas decided that mercy and second chances were more important than just writing John Mark off. Barnabas went to BACK to Cyprus and took John Mark with him! You don’t think this was a healthy, life-lesson in John Mark’s life to go back to a difficult place with new eyes and some experience behind him? And, look what eventually happened! Paul eventually comes around calling John Mark a “fellow worker” (Philemon 1:24). And near the end of Paul’s life, Paul sends a request to Timothy from a Roman prison: “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). Plus, it is no small detail that John Mark’s gospel (the book of Mark), is an amazing account of Jesus life as experienced through the life of Peter. So, although beefs between believers happen, there should be reconciliation and definitely second chances. I would hate to imagine if John Mark, hurt by Paul’s own passion for Christ’s mission would have called it quits – sighting “Church hurt,” as the reason he would not get back to work in the Kingdom of God!

Prayer

Dad,
We just desperately want to pedestalize our leaders, thinking they cannot, or should not make mistakes or bad decisions that hurt others. But they are just human just like the rest of us ordinary folks. I am so glad you had Luke record all this and thankful that it came full-circle to reconciliation between Paul, Barnabas and especially John Mark. Also, thank you for second or seventh chances at getting it right. Amen.

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What’s beyond church hurt?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you. Don’t let those who trust in you be ashamed because of me, O Sovereign Lord of Heaven’s Armies. Don’t let me cause them to be humiliated, O God of Israel. For I endure insults for your sake; humiliation is written all over my face. Even my own brothers pretend they don’t know me; they treat me like a stranger.” Psalms‬ ‭69‬:‭5‬-‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

King David, writing much of the psalms, had some real self-reflection, self-awareness moments throughout the book of songs. Oddly, this psalm was an actual song David sung, because the Bible translators give an accompaniment – to the tune of “Lilies.”

We might think that leaders across the spectrum of all our own societal structures as stalwart, solid, sure and absolutely arrogant in their bravado. At a time when trust is at its lowest, I wonder if David’s honest humility might be more appropriate, even in modern times of crisis. David writes and sings these psalms of confession, these admitted weaknesses and failures. This is such a loud voice in these seasons of “church hurt.” David’s line jumps off the page when I think of our own context today, “Don’t let those who trust in you be ashamed because of me, O Sovereign Lord of Heaven’s Armies.” I was just talking with a friend and saying something similar. Leaders, like church folk, are not perfect! Mistakes will be made, hot words will be spoken and slow responses to bad actors in the body of Christ will be apparent. Will I be the leader, the under-shepherd/pastor to hurt others? Maybe it’s inevitable. But can I own the fact that I have and will make mistakes, behaving un-Christlike in the way I handle people. Can I admit when I’m wrong, own it and apologize? These are apparently rare traits in societal leadership today. It’s more like blame, coverup, and lie your way out of it!

David owned his sin and his failures. He even put some of them to song! However, earlier in this psalm he wrote a lot about sinking in a sea of misappropriated responsibility. He owned up to his part, but would not take the fall for his enemies lust for power and control.

I love this phrase he writes, “Even my own brothers pretend they don’t know me; they treat me like a stranger.” Have you ever sinned and had to face the consequences among friends and family? Have you ever made horrible choices that almost destroyed your life and hurt those around you? Uh… David did as well. Most people feel as though they can’t face the people that knew them BEFORE things fell apart. They feel the shame-stare moments, believing that all eyes are on them in judgment and dismissal. David felt that. He even had this as a line in his song, “I am the favorite topic of town gossip, and all the drunks sing about me” (vs 12‬). Read the rest of Psalm 69, you’ll discover you are not alone. It wasn’t the end of David’s life, nor will it be the end of yours. Come back, come home, endure the pain, push through the shame and do what David did, “…I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving.”

Prayer

Dad,
I do not want to be the kind of pastor that makes mistakes, especially when it comes to hurting others – but I know I have and will continue to do so. I can’t promise to not make them, but I can promise to try to own them and humbly apologize and reconcile when I do. However, I decided early on, that I will not let anyone or anything create distance between you and me! I will not allow anyone’s bad behavior to wedge into my relationship with you. I will not give the enemy that kind of foothold into my life! Help me, help us, Oh Lord to continue to be people of forgiveness and reconciliation. Help me show mercy, even as you have show me mercy. Show grace, because you gave me grace. Amen.

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Reconciling my frenemies.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The best friendships are also the most vulnerable to offense. Trust takes years to build and it can be destroyed in seconds with a purposeful or even accidental moment of betrayal. There is even something WORSE that happens when a friendship is threatened or demolished. It makes us very leery of trusting others. So great friends are not only hard to find, they are much harder to keep!

This wisdom saying holds the key to not just surviving an offense or even a betrayal, it gives hope to those who want to build and keep quality friendships. The first key is the word, “harder.” This is simple but rarely practiced. It’s not impossible to win back the friendship! In fact, once this kind of friendship has been able to navigate the tunnel of chaos or conflict, it becomes even stronger than before. As any wartime general would attest, there is no such thing as an impenetrable fortress. Hard, yes, but not impossible.

The second key is found in this idea of causality – THE argument. Every human relationship, no matter how good or how close, has its moments of impasse! The argument may exacerbate the opposing ideas, but that’s still not what brings down a relationship. When one, or the other, or both decide to LOCK THE GATE – now we have a problem. When we lock the gate of our heart, the defenses go up and access to our brain filled with thoughts, ideas, attitudes, hopes, dreams, sorrows and big emotions are no longer accessible to our friend. The argument is no longer a clashing of ideas it turns into an inaccessible, impenetrable locked gate. Both have allowed these volatile opinions to become weapons that pierce each other’s soul! Soon angry phrases emote out of deep anger, frustration or defense – phrases like, “you are dead to me,” or “never speak to me again.”

Friends banter, they even fight, but the tips of their swords are always rounded and the wounds are never kill-shots. Our stubborn pride buried beneath our wounds may never allow us to heal, restore or reconcile.

A few verses down there’s another friend proverb that helps us understand this predicament. There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭24‬.

Real friends move past the offended or betrayed friend stage, pulling each other in closer, rather than pushing away. Doesn’t the Bible both encourage and command us to reconcile and love one another? Wouldn’t it be wise to obey, even though it’s hard? One of Jesus’ friends betrayed him with a kiss, and Jesus called him out in the garden. Another friend betrayed him by disowning Jesus and declaring that “he did not know him.” Jesus gently restored him after sharing breakfast on the shores of the lake.

Great friendships are worth saving and savoring, persevering and protecting!

Prayer

Dad,
While I was still offending you… you forgave me. While I was still yet denying you…Jesus died for me. You made the impossible happen. You breached the walls of my heart, you stood at the entrance of my locked gate and asked me to let you in. I did so and I will forever be grateful. Now, you ask me to do the same for those who have offended me, betrayed me. How can I say no? Knowing how much it cost you and how far you went to reconcile me, how can I not do the same? Help me not be defined by the frenemies I hold onto, but the grace to forgive like you have done for me.

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The longest feud in history.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“So Abraham agreed to Ephron’s price and paid the amount he had suggested—400 pieces of silver, weighed according to the market standard. The Hittite elders witnessed the transaction. So Abraham bought the plot of land belonging to Ephron at Machpelah, near Mamre. This included the field itself, the cave that was in it, and all the surrounding trees. It was transferred to Abraham as his permanent possession in the presence of the Hittite elders at the city gate. Then Abraham buried his wife, Sarah, there in Canaan, in the cave of Machpelah, near Mamre (also called Hebron). So the field and the cave were transferred from the Hittites to Abraham for use as a permanent burial place.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭23‬:‭16‬-‭20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Some of these Biblical references hold the deep secrets to thousands of years of conflict between modern nations and people groups. Within the long love story between Abram and Sarai (now Abraham and Sarah) we find the ending of Abraham’s dear wife, Sarah. Abraham wants to purchase and secure a proper burial place in the massive, expanse of desert between the Mediterranean Sea and the country of Jordan. There was basically just miles of land filled with sand with a few alcoves or caves that popped up on the desert floor. Hebron.

Here’s a couple of interesting facts about this transaction, which was clearly documented among two people groups, later to become nations. Abraham legitimately bought the land from one of the prominent Hittite leaders. Their descendants of the Hittites eventually merged into Turkey. However, Abraham had two bloodlines, remember? One was Ishmael, the other Isaac. Ishmael (although he was a Canaanite, went on to eventually become the cultural father of Islam, but not directly the Arabic patriarch everyone assumed. It turns out that Ishmael’s mother, was an Egyptian, and believed to be one of the Pharaoh’s daughters herself! When God saved mother and son in the desert, Ishmael went on to get married and have children. Those children became princes and princesses of the royal lineage of Egypt itself.

I always wondered where the bitter, rage-filled turmoil came from between Israel and the Muslim cultures. They both share the same ancient patriarch/father – Abraham! It is well known that Islam believes that their beloved prophet was a direct descendant of Ishmael, who was Abraham’s first born son. Making matters even more complicated, the city of Hebron, where Abraham and Sarah are buried would be considered “co-owned” by both “heirs,” Ishmael and Isaac. If you think that’s wild, do a little study on the Pharaoh’s daughter who ended up becoming the maidservant of two powerful bedouins in the desert – that’s right, Abram and Sarai. You don’t think that forcing Hagar out into the desert would create a historical tension between Israel and Egypt as well? What’s the point? When we make human choices out of our own free will to take shortcuts to accomplish something God had already promised, like Abram and Sarai impregnating Hagar to force and heir. Look at the massive, historical, cultural turmoil that ensued because of that one decision! Just look at where we’re at today, Judaism and thus Christianity, is still locked in bitter, religious, even political and social division because of that decision. Yet God clearly wants redemption of ALL people. And Jesus alone is the one and only true reconciliation for all nations, cultures and people! The longest feud is between God and humans, but history tells us there is still bad blood between the Jewish people and Muslims. Only Jesus blood can reconcile both us to God and brother back to brother.

Prayer

Dad,
I’ve long realized that a lack of faith also has awful consequences. When I am impatient or unwilling to wait for your will to be done and I make selfish, short-cut decisions, I must realize that those decisions have repercussions and ramifications for my future, but also the future of others in my family and close friends. Help me trust. Help me be patient and obey. Give me wisdom to see and have faith to believe. Amen.

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Things Christians don’t obey.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

““You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell. “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭21‬-‭24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus preached his signature sermon and brought up a whole slew of hearsay of things his audience had heard through the grapevine. Jesus said, “our ancestors were told.” Yep, God told their ancestors (ours by adoption) that #6 on the list of God no-no’s was MURDER. Thou shalt not.

Then Jesus redefines what murder may look like from the hidden, recesses of our heart. Oooo, it looks a lot like anger and hatred! It looks like a caldron of hot, stinky thoughts ruminating around in our head. Maybe under our breath or whispered to a friend we might say, they are an Idiot.

I know it’s a word that’s been cancelled as a demeaning, derogatory term, but believe me Jesus word, rhaka, is so much worse. The word “fool” used here means an empty-headed, numbskull, good for nothing, who acts presumptuously and thoughtlessly. It’s more than the Proverbs word, “keciyl,” which is a slow, silly, careless fool. It’s more like “pethiy,” a person incapable of learning, thus continuing to fail themselves and others. Jesus says that kind of name calling can get you hauled into the court of the Sanhedrim (Hebrew elder board). But actually cursing someone out of anger can cause you to start wearing the cologne of hell, smelling like putrid smoke!

Jesus pulls back the dark curtain of our thoughts, intentions and attitudes to reveal the nasty stuff inside us when our anger is not righteous, but petty and self serving. Then Jesus makes a stunning conclusion. When our anger rages to the point of unbridled hatred towards someone, we’ve murdered them in our heart. Don’t tell me you haven’t wished someone dead! Jesus told them, and us, when that happens you’ve got to take drastic measures to be reconciled to the person your aiming your heart-hatred at.

It’s so important, so critical, Jesus says, that you have to LEAVE your gift, your praise, your sacrifice, your sweet one on one with God to take care of business! Then with a clear, non-murderous heart we can come back to God and give our gift.

Do we do this? No. Do we practice this? No. Do we believe this to be true? No. We don’t disrupt our time with God to make things right between each other. Why? Because it’s hard. It’s painful. It’s humiliating. To reconcile is an admittance of our guilt, our humanness. Our justifications sound like toddlers fighting on the playground, “well he started it!” Can you even imagine all our murderous thoughts and attitudes of all the people who have offended us, wronged us or embarrassed us? And we bring all that trash before a holy God while we pull out our little gift of praise or sacrifice?

Jesus said, LEAVE God’s presence and make things right with our fellow humans that have hurt us! And don’t even think about whining, complaining or tattling on someone before God. He won’t listen. Go make it right. Do the hard job as Jesus commanded. Quit messing around with years of stacked and stuffed anger, frustration and death threats towards others. Make amends.

“But there are so many,” you say. “What should I do then?” Ask the Holy Spirit to bring up the worst and most egregious, the one that darkens your soul and consumes a massive amount of your time just thinking about how MUCH you hate that person. This is such a powerful, yet IGNORED practice. I am convicted just reading this and have to deal with one of those reconciliations today!

Prayer

Dad,
Help me be brave and obey your word! Help me to humble myself and make things right with the person you have brought to mind as I write this. Forgive me for the delay. Amen.

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Peter meets the Greeks

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Peter told them, “You know it is against our laws for a Jewish man to enter a Gentile home like this or to associate with you. But God has shown me that I should no longer think of anyone as impure or unclean.” Acts‬ ‭10:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

All those years in the Old Testament, where God used his spokespersons to get Israel to understand His whole plan of using the Jews to bring God to the whole world.

All those wild interactions Jesus had with Gentiles and Samaritans, many of them women, no less.

And it takes a supernatural and commanding vision to finally begin to fulfill this original plan of redemption offered to all.

Peter blurts out this awkward greeting to Cornelius – “hello, I’m not supposed to talk to you, but God made me.” Such strong words, “You know…” was it that obvious? “It is against OUR laws…” Were these civil or moral laws? No, they were Jewish religious/cultural laws. Talk about some deep-seated, systemic racism! I don’t know, maybe the hatred went both ways.

Peter summarizes his own personal vision, “I should no longer think of ANYONE impure or unclean!” Holy bacon bits – that’s such a huge shift for him. So much had changed and yet God kept pushing Peter into a “Kingdom of God” perspective. God had given both men this twinsy, matching visions. Peter’s vision went against a massive amount of food laws that had been handed down to his people for generations. Levitical laws were clear and strict! Cornelius had just been praying and giving to the poor yet had no idea what or why he was doing. He was without purpose or direction.

God saw him and said, boom, there’s the BRIDGE guy! There’s the guy that will get this religiously racial wall torn down. Angels were dispatched with one mission – let’s get Pete and Cornelius together. Cornelius was curious, Peter confused!

After story-swapping, Peter comes to this conclusion… it just give me goosebumps! “Then Peter replied, “I see very clearly that God shows no favoritism. This is the message of Good News for the people of Israel—that there is peace with God through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all.”

God shows NO FAVORITISM! In Christ there is complete and absolute equality across several physical and cultural boundaries – Paul later tells the Church, There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus!

And don’t even get me started in the fact that the Holy Spirit was poured out on the Cornelius crowd. With not only a powerful outward indication of an inward change, but also a sign of unity. Peter’s crew was ASTONISHED at what they SAW and HEARD – “The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on Gentiles. For they heard them speaking in tongues and praising God.”

PRAYER:

Dad,
Oh how I long for such reconciliation among the Church today. Unity, bridging the gap in racial and cultural- even denominational divides! These “laws,” this barriers are still causing issues today. It should not be so. There is so much social media trash slinging in the body of Christ, so many theological labels to hide behind and use against a unified church. Help us Lord!