7 Words to Lead By
1. Think
Thinking takes time.
Time to ponder.
Time for wonder.
Time to un-focus.
The brain works better when it’s not crowded with multiple thoughts or priorities. The brain loves to free think – enjoying a beautiful scenery, smelling a pungent spice, hearing a bird sing. How many times have you had to quit obsessing over something specific to get to an answer – like that singer’s name or the title of a movie? The best ideas come when we are a little distracted by a grand experience and playfully relaxed.
Leaders think and take time to do so.
2. Listen
Listening is not just a skill, it’s a gift. Listening allows a leader to learn from others.
Learn what’s important to others. Learn wisdom through a friends experience. Even laugh at someone else’s funny mistake – making a note not to do what they did.
Leaders listen before speaking, not preparing something to say while listening.
3. Learn
Learning is the curiosity of life, it’s interest in current news as well as cyclical history.
Learn from the rich and the poor, the bright and the simple. Learn because it’s good for your brain and your soul. Learn because it’s good for your best friend, your sons and daughters and those who choose to look up to you. It’s not about showing off with useless facts or snotty knowledge – it’s about a passion of exploration.
Leaders are life-long learners, humble and curious.
4. Read
I heard someone say (probably John Maxwell) “Leaders are readers” and I knew it was true but I wasn’t good at picking, reading and actually FINISHING a book. Then I had a edu-piphany – aka – Master’s Degree.
One of my professors, Roger Hueser would say, “you’re studying to master a subject, shouldn’t you know the subject?” or something like that. I was forced to read, process and write far more than I ever imagined. Going through five thick books every semester did something interesting to me. After graduating and a short sabbatical of no reading what-so-ever I found reading enjoyable!
Now it’s fun to pick, read, finish and process a book.
I love books that move me to action – oh, do not read Bob Goff‘s book, Love Does unless you want to actually do something. I read that guy’s book and gave away my car!
I love books that make me interact with the author. That means either agreeing or disagreeing in a way that lights my brain on fire. That happened with Jedd Medefind’s book, Upended. I highlighted, underlined and wrote notes more in that one book than any book I’ve read. I also love flip-your-brain books like: Heroic Leadership, Richard Stearns, The Hole in the Gospel, When Helping Hurts, or Made to Stick. Reading words has a way of allowing ideas to wander into your thoughts and allows you to see things from a different perspective.
Leaders read because they recognize there is a much bigger world out there.
5. Give
Generosity keeps us from becoming who we really don’t want to be. Who really wants to be a stingy, selfish, self absorbed individual? Giving allows us to push back against our own nature – well, maybe it’s just my nature.
Yes, give involves money but it’s not at all limited to that. Give means generosity of time, talent and treasure.
Time has become the most expensive thing I can give and the absolute hardest one to practice. I’m not financially rich, but I am dirt poor when it comes to time.
Talent. If I have learned something that would be beneficial to a friend I want to give them the tip or the trick. I want them to see how easy it is to master tech or wire up a network or get rid of pesky program bloat. If it saves you money or time or heartache – I want you to have it! Hey, once I learned how to share French Fries the rest became easy.
Treasure. I have enough. Whew, there I said it. I did not say, I have everything I want or even need – but I have enough. I still would much rather be in the position of giving instead of receiving. I believe that servant leaders are givers. My life is not proprietary, it is not my own. I exist to give more than I was given – which becomes an impossibility. I’ll keep trying though.
Leaders are generous because they know they are where they are because others gave to them.
6. Lead
Heres a list of things I believe about the word lead:
- Decisions must be made to move forward.
- Conflict is a sign that change is inevitable.
- Feelings get hurt no matter how “good” or “necessary” decisions might be.
- Great relationships all go through “tunnels of chaos” (thanks Bill Hybel). I used to think it always had to be conflict, but chaos describes it much better. So don’t let relationship issues be an excuse for not leading.
Lead also means: no one really does understand, facing fears, taking criticism as a compliment, change, making hard decisions, receiving input without losing site of the goal, getting things done, ship (from Lynchpin), sometimes letting go of good people, not allowing dysfunctional people rule the final decision, not taking everything personal, more we than me, more wins than losses, more apologies than excuses, more responsibility than blame, more truth than consensus, more fierce conversations than gossip, more face to face than emails, more open doors, open meetings, open feelings and open ideas and honest numbers.
Leading is adaptability and calm in chaos.
Leading is only as good as it’s goal.
If you are leading a field trip to the homeless shelter, a ball game or a church service don’t disrespect followers by ranting about low turnout. Why are you asking them to die for those things?
But if you are changing the world or culture, bringing love and justice to the broken and revolutionizing your community…. by all means – throw down the challenge to come and die. Lead well, boost someone else above you or die trying. Or a more direct quote…
Lead, follow or get out of the way – Thomas Paine.
7. Love
A very long time ago (in the 1500’s) there were a couple guys who became leaders. One by climbing the political ladder and scratching his way to the top, the other lived a horrible life, experienced tragedy and had a conversion experience.
Niccolò Machiavelli felt that “princes” should rule through power, fear and even brutality if necessary. Wikipedia’s article states, “Machiavelli believed that public and private morality had to be understood as two different things in order to rule well. As a result, a ruler must be concerned not only with reputation, but also must be positively willing to act immorally at the right times. As a political theorist, Machiavelli emphasized the occasional need for the methodical exercise of brute force or deceit.”
In the same time period Ignatius of Loyola initiated a society (Jesuits) based leadership on four simple values: Self Awareness, Ingenuity, Love and Heroism. Chris Lowney in Heroic Leadership writes, “We perform at our best in supportive, encouraging, and positively charged environments so we must create a place where we have greater love than fear.”
So interesting that Jesuits trained all recruits to lead, convinced that all leadership begins with self leadership.
Two leaders, two very different models. And yet, there are many leaders in business, churches and non profits that often choose one model over the other. Love is honestly a more difficult way to lead. Especially because fear and power/intimidation has seemingly quick results.
Love takes risks and dives into the messy recesses of relationships, personalities and even private lives. Love makes decisions based on what is good and right and kind.
Leaders love because, as it turns out, it does matter how you get there!