“My father taught me, “Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you.” Proverbs 4:4-6 NLT
After hearing Tim Keller say that Proverbs was probably written as curriculum for a Hebrew boys school, it’s hard to get that picture out of my head. I read this chapter as a possibly a guest Dad coming in and talking to the class. He writes, “For I, too, was once my father’s son, tenderly loved as my mother’s only child.” It wasn’t Solomon himself because Bathsheba had other sons.
Still, when a passage boldly opens with, “my father taught me,” I have a sense of loss. As I’ve written tons of times, if you have/had a great Dad, be thankful – be very thankful. If, like me, that word is a sore spot, then I encourage you to do everything in your power to BE a great Dad. I have certainly tried to do that with my three children, and now with their S.O. as well. Now I’m focusing on being an amazing Granddad!
These passages are really the number one job of a Dad – to lead, guide and give WISDOM for their children. Things like character, discipline, patience, delayed gratification, decision-making, self differentiation, self awareness, frugality and generosity are key areas that come from parents and are actually learned very early in a child’s life. Parenting starts with high control and allows children to make more decisions on their own as they grow. A friend of mine told me that freedom was his kid’s reward for making those good decisions. Good decisions mean a lot more freedom by the time they’ve reached 15-18 yrs old. That means a lot of “do-overs” and discussions around poor decisions because it will give them the practice they need for building their own life.
I know guys who are 30, 40, even 50 who still do poorly at managing their own life, thus do poorly leading their families. BTW, even great Dads aren’t perfect. Children find that out as they get older.
This whole idea of getting wisdom at an early age means that their foundation and their launch-pad of life is solid. And, best of all… getting wisdom is a personification of having a solid relationship with God. There is some discussion and controversy surrounding the idea that wisdom is either Jesus or the Holy Spirit. I’ll let you research that on your own. The word “Spirit” in Hebrew is feminine (Hebrew (רוּחַ, rūaḥ), neuter in Greek (πνεῦμα, pneûma). And wisdom is feminine as well ( חָכְמָה, chokmah).
PRAYER:
Dad,
I could not do anything about when, where or who I was born to, and had zero control over what happened to me or around me as a child. However, once you got my attention at fifteen, the decisions to be and live differently from my family of origin story was up to me! It took (still takes) a lot to fight inertia to make change happen. I have to continually struggle with a self-limiting attitude in my head that says, “I’m lucky to have made it this far!” I will push and even fail if necessary to not let my past define my future. You are my future! You have redeemed me and set aside a purpose for my life. I want to be and attain ALL that you have designed for me and not wimp out on any part of it. YOU are my audience of one!