“Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you. With all my heart I will praise you, O Lord my God. I will give glory to your name forever, for your love for me is very great. You have rescued me from the depths of death.” Psalms 86:11-13 NLT
King David, former shepherd, former Saul’s melody-muse, former man-on-the-run, reflects on his past as much as he does his future. From humble fields to giant-killer fame, to promised heir-apparent, David lived the full gamut of a colorful life. But in those bold snapshots of highs and lows there is a common theme – he always loved God and wanted to please him.
From his confident bravado on the battlefield, and awkward patience waiting for Saul to die a natural death. His rise to power, and then colossal failure as a man, a husband and leader. He always held onto his relationship with God. It’s admirable to understand that God wanted us to know so much about this man. It feels so authentic to see the circuitous paths it took to get David to be a “man after God’s heart,” and be able to judge his behaviors thousands of years later.
This psalm, in the book of Psalms, was inserted towards the end of David’s life. It reminds me of this struggle to be a faulty human AND be good. Not just momentarily human or situationally good, but to be both over a lifetime. Who really can judge us properly? Who can see the totality of earnest desire to be pure, to be good, yet consistently fail at it. What small slice would be observed in my life, or yours? The good slice of a worthy moment, where I served, loved and chose well? Or the humiliating one, where I selfishly or angrily lost my sense of perspective and choose poorly? Which moment would I chose to be remembered by, judged by? The good of course!
David’s prayer encourages me to keep choosing to believe, to pray like this psalm, “teach me, grant me purity of heart… so that I may honor God.” I too must hold on to the moments God rescued me, saved me. But I must also hold on to the moments where I made good choices, not bad. Moments where I pursued God, not failed him. So that I can also praise God will ALL my heart.
Prayer
Dad,
To be human means that I carry both memories of wretched failure and soaring sainthood. Through all the moments of highs and lows, you were always there. Whether proud or patient, you saw it all. In fact you see the beginning, the present and tomorrow all in an eternal moment of now! You see my choices tomorrow and how my life here eventually comes to an end. After all that is sorted, I hope you know that I do love you and I am so very grateful for everything you’ve done in my life. Your mercy and kindness to me has been overwhelming and unending. Thank you.