“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28 NLT
Jesus sets a moral standard that not only captures the core of a commandment, it goes above and beyond, peering into and piercing the human heart. This is something only God can do.
When Jesus says, “you’ve heard it said…” it wasn’t to remind them or us about the latest trashy trends of gossip and giggles about cheaters and their sleazy rendezvous. Jesus was referring to a hard-core law #7 in Exodus 20:14: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
So interesting that behaviors surrounding the deed, the act, the breach, start with the “wandering eye.” Even Psychology Today recognizes this as a major problem in relationships! “Having a wandering eye in romantic contexts can lead to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in partners, potentially eroding trust and satisfaction in the relationship. Research suggests that those who frequently notice attractive alternatives may be more likely to cheat, as it can signal emotional disengagement and a lack of commitment.”
Lust doesn’t start with the act, it starts with a look?
Jesus was right. Behavioral problems don’t begin with the act itself, they start with a thought. The oldest book in the Bible quotes old Job saying, “I made a covenant with my eyes…” Job writes, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman” Job 31:1. Well, we know that the actual contract was a thought and a commitment made in his heart before it ever reached his eyes.
This whole idea of acceptable levels of adultery or cheating (which makes it sound as evil as fudging on your taxes) is unbelievably awful and dangerous. No one in a serious committed relationship, who has been the recipient of broken trust, thinks it’s funny or meme worthy! Let alone a relationship that has been covenanted and consummated before God and family.
The adultery law is so wonderfully protective of men, women and children (who suffer the most in infidelity). Why in the world would anyone want to mock it or demoralize it? Jesus is not being judgey here in addressing an age-old problem of breaking trust in relationships. Jesus is being merciful, reminding men (and now women) to keep their hearts pure in commitment long before their eyes focus on adulterating a devastating future. We can read all the ancient stories or even the current headlines today; unfaithfulness destroys a marriage, a family and a healthy future for our children. Nothing has changed the outcomes, no matter how much one promotes this level of lies as personal choice and freedoms. Jesus just brilliantly says, “stop gambling with your future through your eyes!”
Prayer
Dad,
Oh how I wish my own fathers and mothers would have heeded your wisdom! Having several generations of marital devastation would have saved me a lot of dread and fear about entering the most amazing relationship outside of the one I have with you. Seeing so much pain and heartbreak, misery and loss, certainly put a big hesitation in asking for my wife’s hand in marriage. If it had not been for your promise of proximity – “stay close to me,” you said and “you’ll stay close to her,” I would not have committed my life to the one woman I have ever loved! Thank you for your promise and power to not gamble with my eyes to the point of losing all that is precious to me. Thank you for keeping me faithful in grace and mercy.