”I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.“ 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 NLT
The Apostle Paul was never afraid of weighing in on hot topics or super controversial conversations. Pity the fool who thought, or thinks they can take on Paul and win a philosophical, theoretical or theological argument!
Paul was a fierce thinker, a natural debater. That’s just one of the reasons God chose him to take on the rigorous religious paradigms of his day. Remember, God didn’t try to argue with Paul to win his heart, He simply floodlit him on the way to being judge and executioner of innocent believers. The voice from heaven broadcast, “Why are you persecuting me?” Paul didn’t even know who was talking, saying “who are you?” Jesus replied, then blinded Paul for three days so he could see a little more clearly.
Here, in Corinthians, Paul lays out a ton of solid Biblical instruction, but also gives some of his own wisdom, as he writes – this time on marriage! Paul is honest and clear about this point. He writes about young women desiring to be married and says he does NOT have a command from God for them. He adds a critical, contextual phrase that helps us understand the situation Paul is addressing, “because of the present crisis,” they should remain single.
Paul uses the word, anagké, which is a word for constraint, or better yet, a compression. We know the cultural pressures of that time was severe. Persecution was at its highest and the demented Roman authorities were using the torture of family members to coerce confessions out of believers, getting them to deny Christ. Google “Blandina,” and you’ll see what Paul was writing about. Also, because of the great persecution, Paul absolutely believed the parousia, the snatching, the 2nd coming of Christ was near! So in his mind, the priority wasn’t on getting married, having kids and owning a home – it was on spreading the gospel, the good news, because the end was near. This was the time of soul-harvest, not settling down, in Paul’s thinking.
So, definitely content, culture and context play a huge part in Paul’s seemingly anti-marriage message. But Paul is not anti-marriage! He is anti-distractions. If you read all of the book of Acts, then all of the letters Paul wrote to the churches, you’ll find that Paul lived on MISSION! He was driven to do what God called him and gifted him to do. There was winning people to Jesus, there was church planting and there was mentoring young men and women to the high calling of being a pastor. Paul had zero time for dating. Who would want to be married to a man that was so passionate about mission that he traveled constantly and started riots in many cities where he preached. What kind of married life, father image would that be?
Cutting through all the cultural context, there is still a question that must be answered, “Is marriage a distraction dilemma?” The answer, is yes! It CAN be, but it should not be. Paul nails it when he uses these two words, “think” and “please.” Marriage and family take up a tremendous amount of thinking and pleasing when it comes to our wife, husband and/or children – doesn’t it? Paul seems to be focused on something far deeper than the word “distraction,” because he uses these two much more serious greek words: think: merimnaó: to be anxious for and please: aréskō – properly satisfy. My take is that when a distraction becomes an obsession over and away from God working in my life then I have taken it too far!
Dr. Henry Cloud just came out with a great article on what he calls, “Focused Attention.” But it was what he wrote about distractions that got my attention. He wrote, “Today a countless amount of distractions will fight for your attention. They will come in the form of urgent and even good, but their subtle ability to pull you away from your main priorities prove that they can be the silent thief of success.”
Back to the distraction dilemma… my point is this. Husband, wife or kids should not be the number one priority in a believer’s life and rhythms! Wives, you will be at your best if Jesus is #1 and the benefactors will be your husband and kids. Husbands, guaranteed, if Jesus is #1, He will lead, guide and mature you as a man! Your wife and kids will absolutely benefit because of that proper priority. Single? Make Jesus #1! Not career, travel, hobbies or financial independence.
Paul’s point is true and throws no shade on marriage at all – do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible! Without anything (aperispastós) drawing you away. Anything could become a distraction dilemma for our relationship with Jesus, it’s our job not to let that happen.
Prayer
Dad,
It’s a no brainer to figure out that bad things can and do draw me away from you. My own desires and evils are fairly easy to see. It becomes much more subtle to see that good things cause me to drift from you as the priority in my life. Busyness masquerades as doing good, then I just feel too exhausted to spend quality time with you, praying and reading Your Word. I just don’t have time, I say, as I shuffle off to one more crisis, one more new idea, one more good deed for others. I may not be the most focused person, but I can tend to what’s most important- and that is You. Thank you for being patient when I lose track of priorities. And, thank you for gently calling back to that place of quiet with you.