“I am on the verge of collapse, facing constant pain. But I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done.”Psalms 38:17-18 NLT
Wow. This entire Psalm of David is so raw and honest. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he must have had Covid… j/k. Who can compare to David’s songs and prayers of repentance? The entire psalm is filled with a mixture of physical, emotional and spiritual pain he is experiencing. As I read it, I feel as though he’s not going to make it, he’s describing the end of his life.
This psalm blows my mind because, in the middle of this physical calamity David 100% attributes the cause to God being angry, himself being guilty as charged and ridding himself of his sins. There is not one ounce of any possibility that he has caught something natural or the result of “general” sin or sickness being a part of our fallen world, Nor does he attribute it to an attack from a very real entity of evil! He completely receives it as FROM God and goes directly to God to admit, repent and wait for judgment to pass. “My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins.”
He is NOT expecting to be let off the hook, but asks for the patience go through, and to wait for God to come and relieve his pain. “For I am waiting for you, O Lord. You must answer for me, O Lord my God.” And, “Come quickly to help me, O Lord my savior.”
I can honestly say, I have never thought about this kind of raw, direct, straight to the point prayer when I have been at my sickest or lowest moments in life. He doesn’t blame a virus, bacteria, infection, a devil or even God himself. He just flat out starts repenting and recognizing his own unworthiness. I am humbled by this and it makes me think about my own mortality, and times of fever, aches or misery. Once again, I am thankful for the lesson and model from David’s own life and the words he left behind for me to reflect on.
PRAYER:
Dad,
Wow, what a glimpse into a world that I am not comfortable in at all. I know very few who are at the point of extreme pain and solid resolve acceptance of who is really in charge of life itself.
I am normally talking people out of such honest thoughts and prayers when they speak of their own responsibility and repentance for sin! I will not be so foolish to do so again. Mostly, because I realize how little I actually know of such things! How could falsely relieve the tension by pretending that I know of someone’s circumstances? I will also think through my own response to sickness, pain and suffering. I am thankful for David’s honest and pure words.